


i say with pride i'll be on your side

by pinkvalentines



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Season/Series 01, Pre-Relationship, cause why not, i got a bit carried away haha, implied avatrice if you squint, its kinda heavy, this is totally not projection what are you saying?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26076130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkvalentines/pseuds/pinkvalentines
Summary: Post-season one finale. Evacuations lead to bad situations.
Relationships: Sister Lilith/Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	i say with pride i'll be on your side

**Author's Note:**

> i blame the discord for fueling this fic. this is lilith centric also! [fyi: lilith now has lesbian moms and a twin sister!]
> 
> title from 'here' by pet shop boys [all my titles come from their lyrics; listen to the song pls]
> 
> anyways... *running person emoji*

After the mess, destruction, fight, etc., in Vatican City, everyone is left wounded, severely wounded. Ava is literally drained of life, the Halo's power has diminished, close to zero energy but her wounds healed with the small energy still left within the Halo. Beatrice will have bruises for days, her whole body feeling like dough, so there’s no way she can recover as quickly as she usually does. Camila was okay, only suffering a bruised shoulder (thank God for the crossbow and a good aim). Lilith has no visible injuries, those weird demon powers are surprisingly good?, but she feels drained as well. Mary was in the worst shape, bites and cuts littered her arms (who knew possessed citizens bit  _ that _ hard?), she was unconscious, the only way of knowing if she was actually alive was by the shallow breaths she let out every few minutes. 

Lilith obviously volunteers to take the team as far away as possible from the Vatican, as the rest of them are terribly wounded. It didn’t take long for Camila to hot wire the van they came in (traitorous Vincent… they’d grown to trust him and he turned on them) and get their asses out of that place before the newly officiated Pope Duretti looks for them. It wasn’t too hard to leave, seeing as most of the attention was focused on the destroyed portion of the building and the countless injured civilians, but they had to keep a lookout. 

Beatrice and Camila tend to both Ava and Mary in the back of the van with the limited supplies on hand coming from the small first aid kit. Ava is out so she just needs to recover for… days? Mary’s wounds are just superficial ( ~~thankfully~~ ) so they just cover the bites and cuts with alcohol and bandages, praying for no infection. 

Lilith focuses her gaze on the dark road ahead of her, lit up solely by the headlights of the van. She  _ knows _ where she’s going, mindlessly agreeing that going to Cat’s Cradle is too risky. She’s too tired and focused on this mission to even ask the others if they know any safe secondary locations, so she sticks to driving them to her parents house, close to Vatican City. She hopes they don’t mind and won’t ask about the damn Halo-bearing legacy ~~(~~ ~~ they will) ~~ . 

  
  
  


———

  
  
  


Safely, the group of five arrive shortly before 11 am. 

”We’re here,” Lilith says, for the first time in over 12 hours, while parking the vehicle outside of the house. The house hasn’t changed since the last time she came here, under five years ago. Same white exterior, same large property, same bushes planted on either side of the house, same people inside ~~(~~ ~~ she hopes ~~ ~~)~~. She cracks her knuckles, sighing at what she knows will come. Lilith looks at herself in the mirror, noticing that her hair is no longer gray and back to the black she was accustomed to, tiniest bit happy for that. From the mirror, she sees her friends sprawled out. 

She turns her gaze to the back seats. Camila and Beatrice were awake, groggy from the long ride. Ava looked more alive, color returning to her skin as the Halo’s energy was being recharged. Mary… was looking better, obvious that sleep would help her.  _ They’d seen worse, _ Lilith thought to herself. 

They wake up the two sleeping women so that they can enter the house. All Lilith can think about is the numerous questions that her parents will ask. She’s dreading knocking on the front doors. But they can’t turn back now, especially since they destroyed so much ~~(figuratively)~~. Lilith brushes these feelings away, repressing them from taking over. 

She gets out of the vehicle, immediately stretches her legs out, wincing at her sore calves. The others follow suit, stretching out their tired bodies, groaning in the process. Lilith walks over to the other side of the van and is greeted with the sight of her bruised teammates. It’s almost scary to see Mary, the worst one of them all, all battered up. Ava is unusually quiet, but due to how exhausted she is, it’s safe to say that she has a right not to talk. They are all tense, untrusting of their surroundings, and quiet. At least they’re alive in one piece. 

“Let’s go…” Lilith trails off, voice hoarse and dry. She notices that Mary has a slight limp in step so she goes to the other and helps her, letting Mary lean some of her weight onto Lilith’s shoulders. A small, returning gesture.  _ I see you _ , Lilith thinks. She leads the other three to the house. The pathway is clean and surrounded by various flowers, typical of her parents. 

_ Now _ is the time to panic. What if no one was home? Surely she could sneak into the house but explaining that would be hard. So she prays that one of them is home. 

Knocking on the front doors is almost hard. She turns around and gives the group a smile, something akin to a call for help. Luckily for them, they didn’t have to wait that long. A few moments later, a woman who appears to be Lilith’s mother opens the doors. 

“Lilith?” She’s shocked, astonished, surprised. She wouldn’t have guessed that the knocking on the doors came from her own daughter. She’s changed since the last time, the main difference being the graying hair. 

_ Like mother, like daughter, _ Ava thinks. They have similar features, formed cheekbones and a slim build. They could pass off as siblings if she were younger. The rest of the group go unnoticed by her mother, obvious that she would focus her attention on her daughter. 

“Hi mother.” She gives her a tight smile, jaw clenching. She pulls her into a hug, she returns the gesture with hesitation, touch being a foreign concept for the woman. 

“What are you doing here?” Cecilia says as she pulls away from the hug. Lilith’s eyes open wide, nervousness kicking in. 

“We were kicked out.” She says flatly. It wasn’t a total lie, but telling the truth would be difficult and she didn’t want to go down that route. 

“Well come in.” She says quickly, standing aside to let the women in, not wanting to have them wait outside for too long. At least she won’t question, yet. But they must look crazy, though. Clothes ripped, hair a mess, and a multitude of bruises forming on their faces. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything about it. 

“Thank you, I’ve missed you.” She’d missed their presence, not entirely but people miss family at times. She also gives her another hug, staying in her arms for a moment too long before releasing herself from her. 

She gestures the rest to come in as well, noticing the awkward tension between them. They walk in and are greeted with the sight of beiges on the wall and a plethora of different knockoff artifacts,  _ same old, same old,  _ Lilith thought. 

“I have to tell your mother, wait a moment.” And with that, the woman walks into a hallway, to fetch Lilith’s other mother.  _ Dear God help me,  _ she begs. Lilith instinctively walks ahead, to the direction of the kitchen. It’s funny, she thought that she’d forget the layout but she remembers it all too well. 

“Nice house.” Ava whispers as she looks around, voice almost unrecognizable. Lilith turns around and grins softly, as if to say thank you. She notices how tired they all look, and almost frowns at that. Camila is the only ‘upbeat’ one, everyone else having a neutral face to cover up the pain they’ve been through, it’s only natural. 

They walk into the kitchen with Lilith leading the way. It’s a spacious kitchen, island in the middle and appliances hidden away, blending in with the cabinets. Just the sheer size of the kitchen meant that her parents had money to spend. Not that it’s bad. Lilith walks to the refrigerator, opening it to examine its contents. She finds regular food inside, multiple fruits and vegetables, and a few water bottles. She’s grateful for the water bottles. Lilith grabs four and gives them to each girl, each of them thanking her and smiling. Then she gets one for herself and takes a long gulp, thankful that her throat is no longer dry. She sighs afterwards. They lean against the countertops, still tense but relaxing by the moment. Nothing is said, they’re all too exhausted to even speak. 

It’s no longer quiet as her mother walks in, voice loud as ever. “Oh my dear Lilith! I’m so happy you’re back!” Her mother, equal height compared to her daughter, almost runs up to greet her. Lilith smiles at her friends before turning around to face her mother. She looks the same, shorter hair this time, dressed in business casual clothing. Lilith doesn’t remember her accent sounding that way but then again, it’s been forever. Her mother puts her hands out and Lilith settles herself in her arms. 

“Hi mom.” It’s a sight to see, her friends had never seen her interact with her parents, and they knew the bare minimum about them. Lilith hugs her tightly, sighing into the embrace, she missed this. 

“And what are you doing here?” Her mother asks, voice muffled by her daughter's shoulder. She sees the group staring at her, then looking away when she caught them. 

Lilith hesitates and pulls away from her mother, maintaining eye contact, explaining, “We were kicked out.”

“But how? We sent you there to continue our family’s legacy and they make you leave? That makes no sense.” The tone in her voice changes to something cold. Ava flinches at that, Lilith’s mother reminding her of Sister Frances. Beatrice places her hand on Ava’s after noticing the change in her posture. Ava was tense now, but within reason. Mary stands to appear strong. Camila watches and hopes nothing bad or worse happens. 

“Yes but orders are being changed. Du- The Pope has control over the OCS now, and they removed us as they brought in new recruits. The fault lies on him.” Lilith explains, shoulders tight, to appear confident through her panicking facade. 

Galilea says nothing, taking in the information. She simply nods, it's not like she can control what the organization does, but still surprised that that would’ve happened. She sighs, shaking her head then smiles, “At least you’re back home.” 

“Yes.” Lilith’s throat swells up, eyes getting watery. She leans in for another hug, knowing that this conversation isn’t over but for now, she embraces the touch. 

  
  
  


———

  
  
  


The group settle into two bedrooms, Ava, Beatrice, and Camila sticking in a guest room with a queen size bed and a small pullout couch. Mary and Lilith stick to Lilith’s room, mainly because she wanted to keep an eye for her friend. The room is the same but it feels different.  _ Changing times, _ she supposes. 

Same queen sized bed, same wall colors, same furniture. It’s almost like they’ve never touched the room. Everything was in its place, in Lilith’s organized way. 

Mary lays down on the bed with a huff, rolling her shoulders as she finally gets to be comfortable. (Back seat sleeping was not nice to any of them.) 

“Are you going to tell them about the quote en quote legacy that’s in the hands of someone else, AKA not you?” Mary grumbles, perching herself on her elbows, flinching at the sudden pain. Lilith looks around the room, then at Mary. 

“I’m not ready, but I have to.” Lilith’s voice trembles ever so slightly. She sits on the edge of the bed closest to Mary. She finally looks at Mary, directly that is.

“I don’t want them to know that it’s not me, that this whole ordeal even happened,” Lilith’s voice falls to a whisper, tears threatening to fall, throat feeling swollen all of the sudden. This is the second time in less than 24 hours that Mary has seen Lilith cry. It gave her a sense of comfort, knowing that the girl in front of her is  _ comfortable  _ in her presence. It took a lot to even see a trace of emotion from Lilith’s tough exterior, but this subject always made her emotional, Mary noted.

“Come here,” Mary whispered, getting up into a seated position, drawing her knees to the side to let Lilith into her space. Mary held out her arms for Lilith to settle into. She settles herself to Mary’s left side to not hurt her anymore than she already is, mindful of the bruising. She wraps her arms around the other’s shoulders, grounding herself to reality. Mary strokes her long hair, and for once, she doesn’t know what to say. Out of the four, she is the one who knows more about Lilith, obviously due to how close they were. Knocking down people’s walls was something that Mary apparently did, even without thinking about it. Maybe it was her nature. Even through her bruised state, she forgot all of her worries and focused on making Lilith feel better.

This was going to be harder than she expected, “I let the legacy-” Lilith chokes on a sob, “down and I- They were already upset when,” Lilith shakes her head into Mary’s neck, “Shannon was chosen.” Mary thinks back to that, Lilith had been so upset that the next Halo-bearer wasn’t her, she knows it was due to how Lilith needs to keep up with the family reputation and expectation. They fought because of that, because of how stubborn Lilith was, because she let her familial reputation get the best of her. That was over three years ago. 

But what could Mary say? She knew that all Lilith wanted was to vent out, to let everything out, without fear. So she just let the other talk. 

“They were mad, that the chosen one was her and not me, as if I could control that…” Lilith sniffled into Mary’s shoulder. She brought up her hand that was holding onto Mary’s arm to wipe her tears. “They have very high expectations, and it’s hard to live up that with all the pressure.” While Mary didn’t understand what it meant to be under that much pressure, she knew what the pressure was like while with Shannon. She knew just how tired she’d been while being the Halo-bearer, Shannon had kept a facade, just like Lilith. 

Mary hugged her tighter, letting Lilith relax into her touch. It felt nice to be like this, minus the heartbreaking conversation. 

“I know this is not what you want to hear but the truth has to come out, sooner or later. But no matter what, I will be on your side. Remember that, okay.” Mary affirmed. Lilith nodded, too choked up to speak. She blinked and tears fell onto the others shoulder. They stay like that for a few minutes, until Lilith’s tears stop coming and her breathing returns to a normal rhythm. Lilith detaches herself from Mary’s touch and just sat up, pained, thinking about how the imminent conversation with her parents will go.  _ There’s no best case scenario in this situation, _ she thinks. She’ll have to roll with the punches, hoping it doesn’t get to her. 

Mary looks on as Lilith gets up and walks out of the room. She knows that, though her presence would be great, Mary can’t be with Lilith while she had that conversation. Sadly, she has to do it alone. 

Lilith walks out of her room and goes over to the guest room, to make sure that the three other girls are there so they wouldn’t hear the talk. She opens the door and sees Beatrice and Ava on the bed, Beatrice tending to the Halo-bearer. Camila is laying down on the couch, arms over her eyes, probably thinking. 

Upon seeing Lilith enter the room, Beatrice says, “Lilith, are you alright?” “Yes.”  _ No, not even close _ . “I just have to talk with my parents. Please don’t leave the room. That’s all I’m asking.” Silently, Ava nods from the bed, half awake. Camila removes her arms from her head and stares at Lilith. She simply nods as well. With the meek confirmation, the taller girl walks out of the room, with low confidence but she’s headstrong. Always been when faced with her parents. 

She finds them in the kitchen, cooking up a meal that is obviously met for the group.  _ A soup of some sorts, _ Lilith decides, due to how hot the kitchen is. Her mother, Galilea, sees her enter through the threshold, immediately waves at her to go over, “Come come. Try the soup.” She’d miss this side of her mother, the cheery cook, always passionate about food. She notices her other mother, Cecilia, at the stove, mixing the ingredients into the pot, humming along to a tune. 

She pours some liquid into a small bowl and brings the bowl to her, minestrone soup. Lilith’s favorite. She takes the spoon and gets a spoonful of soup, smelling it before tasting it. Of course it would take her back. It was  _ good _ . “Mmm, love it already,” she nodded and gave the bowl back to her mother. Lilith was already dreading even speaking. It scared her, because she would be uncertain of their reactions, how badly they would  _ actually _ react. No matter that, it would be out in one way or another. 

“I actually have to tell you something, mother,” Lilith goes to the large dining table and takes a seat, waiting for her mothers to follow in tow. They follow, sharing looks of confusion.  _ What would Lilith say? _ They take a seat closest to her, Galilea’s hands clasped in Cecilia’s, ready to take in the news. 

She coughs before saying, “As you know, my team and I have been kicked out due to a change in control. I don’t know how severe it is but we’re hoping that the situation settles itself before returning. And you know of Shannon’s passing,” Lilith tilts her head up, to confirm that they know, her mothers nod. “Well because we were ambushed at an uncertain time, and the Halo was removed from Shannon as she passed, it,” Lilith takes in a shaky breath, calming herself before anything else happened, “got placed into someone else, unfortunately.” She waits a moment, holding her breath. 

“So someone else, that’s not you, has the Halo?” Galilea asks, tone defensive. Lilith only nods, throat feeling scratchy again, heart beating a million miles a second. “No… that can’t be right. You specifically told us that you would be next, and suddenly this… this  _ opportunity _ is stolen from you?” Her tone changes again, getting harsh. Lilith tries not to flinch at that, hands twitching before she balls them up into fists. 

“I can promise you it was not my intention on having the Halo be passed onto someone else…” Nervousness settles in her gut.

“I pray it was never your intention,” Galilea spits out, anger spilling onto her words. She never thought she’d have a daughter so incapable. 

“And what have you done in order to attain the Halo for yourself?” Cecilia finally speaks up, making eye contact with her daughter, head tilting. 

_ Fuck _ . Out of everything she thought they’d ask, she never thought it would be something like that. She feels… shock. Yeah… shock would be a good answer. How could she explain to them that she’s protecting the person who has something she ( her family) desperately wants? That wouldn’t make much sense, considering their relationship. 

“Right now, it’s in my best interest to protect the new Halo bearer, as any sister warrior would.” Her voice falters on the last few words but Lilith straightens her back, to appear confident and unafraid, she also lets her fists relax slightly. 

Galilea only grunts and shakes her head, Lilith always hated making people feel angry. Cecilia stares at her daughter, unable to form a word. They didn’t say anything for about a minute and every second was excruciatingly long for Lilith‘s liking. Both mothers were lost in thought, taking in the unfortunate information. It didn’t last long before Galilea slammed her hands on the wooden table, catching the attention of both women in her presence. She stood up from the chair and looked down at her daughter. 

“I am deeply ashamed of this,” somehow that cut worse than anything her mother had said to her before. SHe was always quick to anger, and Lilith inherited that from her. Lilith only nodded, words unable to be said. 

Cecilia looks at both her wife and daughter, feeling nothing but sorrow and  _ emptiness? _ Maybe that’s what lies in her gut. She gestures for Galilea to leave the room before consulting Lilith. She waits until she sees Galilea walk out of the threshold before talking. 

“Yes, we are deeply upset that you may not have the Halo, as of now, but as soon as it’s in your possession, know that that’s when you will know why we pushed you so far to have it.” The half-assed apology on her mother's behalf didn’t work on the young woman. It only made her feel worse. 

“Thank you,” Lilith whispers, voice flat. She’s never given them an authentic thank you, she only says it to please them  _ just _ enough.  _ Lies, _ her mind tells her. 

Cecilia gets up from her chair and walks to her daughter, bending down and taking her into a brief embrace. Slightest of comfort for the disappointing delivery. She then leaves Lilith alone, holding one last glance from the threshold, almost speaking but stopping herself. 

Lilith shifted in the uncomfortable chair, eyes feeling heavy, hands still in fists. She tried to relax her tense shoulders, letting out a quiet breath, defense mode still within her. It was funny, she knew how to fight and kill literal demons but couldn’t stand to let her parents down. How does that work? How does someone’s fight defense change to flight? All she wanted to do was leave but it was unsafe and risky.  _ Breathe _ . 

She pushed herself away from the table, mind fuzzy from the conversation.  _ Quick as always Lilith… You always seem to disappoint, no matter what great achievements you have _ , the tiny voice whispered, reminding her of her mothers. They’d never been ones for comfort or even safety. They threw her in this line of course for the family legacy and reputation. It didn’t matter to them what she thought about it. Her voice wasn’t important. 

Shaking her head, she lifted herself from the chair, vaguely thinking about the meal. She’ll definitely get back to that. Mindlessly, she made her way to her room. She almost forgot that Mary was in there, laying on her bed, it took her by… surprise? Yeah. She closed the door and leaned her weight into the door, exhaling, feeling drained. 

The sight of her made Lilith’s heart crumble. It was horrid but expected when in her line of work, injuries were inevitable, but that didn’t make Lilith think that Mary deserved to be hurt that bad. 

It was silent until Mary cleared her throat, taking Lilith out of her thoughts. “I take that it went bad?” She questioned, cocking her head to the side, looking at the wall above the door. Lilith clicks her tongue and shakes her head. Of course she’d be concerned, but why. She stands tall, taking her weight off the door, stepping across the room to sit on the corner edge of the bed, facing away from Mary, looking down to her hands. She knew how important this whole ordeal was for the woman, knew how pressured Lilith felt, and had an understanding of her upbringing. So with the given information, Mary knew of the disappointment Lilith’s parents felt. 

“I’m a failure,” it came out in a tone below a whisper, almost hard to pick up. With that, Mary got up into a seated position, scooting herself next to Lilith. She placed a hand on her shoulder, which Lilith immediately grabbed onto. This sense of comfort was unexplored, and they had just started to like each other more. It was safe to say the least. Safer than Lilith had ever felt. 

“Listen to me,” Mary winces, voice raspy, “you are no failure or disappointment or whatever else your mothers convinced you that you are. You’re you. In every sense of the word.” Lilith lifted her head to stare ahead, taking in Mary’s message. She is her own person, but why did she depend so much on her mother’s approval? It’d been gnawing at her for God knows how long. 

She took in a shaky breath, in an attempt to calm herself down, to avoid lashing out. Damn Mary and her nature,  _ Lilith _ was going soft now. She turned her head to see Mary looking at her with soft eyes. Lilith’s expression changed to that of vulnerability, a rare thing for the inexpressive woman. “Thank you.” Mary nods, giving her a small smile. She turns her head to the side, thinking. 

They sit there in silence for a while, hearing each other breathe, until Lilith coughs. “They are ‘deeply ashamed’ of me,” slightly mocking her mother. “You know them,” the other nodded, “they will hold grudges against those who’ve wronged them, even slightly. I tried so hard to make them happy and content and… it’s no use. They don’t understand this,” her voice breaks a little, “pressure I’m under. Es como que no les importa lo que yo siento.” She finished her sentence in Spanish, more emotion flowing out as the language changed. 

She gripped Mary’s hand harder, needing to latch onto something. Lilith shifted on the bed and soon laid down, legs hanging off the edge, hands clasped together, head pointed to the ceiling. Mary saw her expression change to concern in a flash. 

“They made a meal…”  _ that I have to attend to _ . She couldn’t finish the sentence.  _ Oh awkward meals… _ a real downer considering that the team didn’t know how Lilith’s mothers were really like. If only she could die again. (too soon?)

“Then we’ll just have to put up with them.”

“What?” Lilith looked at her bewildered, and shocked. 

“C’mon Lil, you’ve faced demons yet can’t face your mothers? That’s bullshit. If you can be confident while fighting, be confident while facing your moms. You’ve told me so much about them and I’m sorry for how they’ve treated you but man, if I could fight them, I would. For you.” That draws a laugh out of Lilith, cheering up her spirit a bit. If Mary could do this over again, she’d take all the time in the world to do so. 

“You’re crazy,” she shakes her head, smiling to the other. 

From the kitchen, Cecilia yells out Lilith’s name. The pair look at each other with wide eyes, coincidences. 

“Let’s go?” Lilith says with a cheeky grin, Mary really made her feel the tiniest bit better. 

“Let’s.” Mary lifts herself off the bed and lets Lilith lead the way. 

They go over to the spare room and call out the other three women, all tired and hungry. It’d been multiple hours since they’d eaten anything and were excited to have a homemade meal. 

Walking towards the kitchen, Lilith in front and the rest following close by, Ava asks Lilith, “What’d they make?”

“Soup.” 

“Aw soup… Really?” Ava groans at Lilith’s answer. 

“Yes. It’s very good soup. You’ll eat anything right now.” The taller woman looks to Ava and raises one eyebrow. The Halo-bearer grumbles and crosses her arms. Not that she was mad, just joking around. She  _ would _ eat anything. 

They hear Cecilia’s loud voice and are greeted with the thick aroma of vegetables, “Ah girls! Just in time. Creo que les va gustar mucho.” She’d already set seven bowls for them, how could a host be rude to their guests? They each take a seat. For a small family, they sure had the largest table possible. Galilea at the head of the table, with Cecilia to her left. Lilith sits to Cecilia's right, Mary next to her, and Camila to Mary’s right. Beatrice decides to sit next to Cecilia, knowing that she liked her (or at least assumed that) and Ava next to Beatrice. There’s no fuss in the seating arrangement, everyone telepathically agreeing to it. 

They all take their spoon and dig into the soup. Cecilia also made a loaf of garlic bread. Ava immensely thanked her for the bread, “I’m really enjoying this… Thank you.” She receives a nod and a thank you from the older woman. 

Lilith can feel her mother's eyes boring into her soul, tension building between the three. The clanking of the spoons against the bowls is all that’s heard. Even normally talkative Ava is silent, she knows that now's not a completely appropriate time for a conversation. She can wait a while. 

Galilea breaks the silence. 

“So how did the OCS treat you? I assume it went well, considering we sent you to a prestigious organization…” She glances at her daughter, her striking features apparent on Lilith, similar to her own. With a huff, she sets down her spoon loudly and brings her elbows up onto the wooden table, clasping her hands together. 

_ Oh no. _

Lilith nods, pushes aside the bowl in front of her, “They have treated me well enough, no complaints whatsoever.”  _ Great _ , now they  _ were  _ going to have this dreadful conversation in front of her friends.

“With that information aside, how could you’ve been kicked out? I need more of an explanation. Es imposible creer que una organización como ellos no mas te dicen que ya no es parte de ellos.” Galilea firmly states. Ava widens her eyes and looks down into her soup, it’s like everyone stops breathing all at once. The tension is harsh.  _ Repeating this conversation again, seriously? _

Lilith answers back in Spanish, “Pues es que nos dijeron que hay personas nuevas controlando la organización, fuera de nuestro control. Obviamente, quiero que esa no fuera su decisión pero así se dejó.” The small act of that lifted her confidence, Mary noticed and brought a hand down to squeeze her thigh. 

“Huh...” Galilea was still unsatisfied with that answer but what more could she say. It truly was out of their control, not like she could control a whole secret organization. Lilith slightly nods, she’ll take it. 

With the atmosphere lessening, the group can relax a little more, they could ride this out, it was only a meal. They return to alternating between eating soup and the bread provided to them. 

Once the meal was close to finished, Cecilia commented, “How did you enjoy the soup?” She looks at them with a smile.

“Oh it was amazing. Really like nothing I’ve ever had before. Thank you again.” Ava starts off, needing to compliment the cook, nodding towards her. 

“Yes, thank you,” Beatrice comments as well, manners set in place. 

“Thank you as well,” Camila’s voice gets Cecilia’s attention, she sees Mary give her a smile too. 

“Yes, well I had to make it. It’s Lilith’s favorite meal,” she gestures to her daughter in front of her, adoring her presence. 

“Thank you mother. I love it,” she grins softly. 

Galilea still stares at her daughter with disappointment. “But don’t think that I’ll let you forget that  _ you _ are no Halo-bearer…”  _ Mood breaker _ , just what Lilith needed right now.  _ Fun _ . Ava tenses up,  _ shit _ . She stares at Camila, shock expressing both their faces. They share a mutual glance at the woman at the head of the table. 

“See we raised you to become a fierce and powerful warrior. We raised you to be competitive. We raised you to fight, but now this is what we get back in return? You really let this opportunity slip by you, or am I assuming it all wrong? Because I hope this is just a misunderstanding.” She maintains a firm and intimidating tone, never letting her eyes off of her. 

Lilith glances down, thinking about what to say. She really went there… right in front of her friends… who don’t know her well enough. It took a lot for her mother to get to that point, and here she is… at the goddamn point. 

With a roll of her shoulders, Lilith makes herself appear unaffected by her words, “It was a misunderstanding, yes. But as of now, the Halo is in the possession of a new Warrior Nun. She has proven that the Halo accepts her, and that she is a worthy fighter.” Her breath gets shakier towards the end, but overall was fine. Ava smiles at the indirect mention. They do have each other’s back after all.

“I understand that the new Warrior Nun is ready but what I am saying is that it should’ve been you. This is what you trained for- Oh and don’t forget that there were six, Six other Halo-bearers in your legacy. Was it all a waste? Are you going to end up like Delilah-“ At the mention of her twin's name, Lilith can no longer tolerate it. 

“No, do not bring her up, this conversation is between the two of us, not between Delilah and I. She,” tears gather in her eyes, voice getting watery. “She left because you failed her.” Lilith shakes her head. She grasps at Mary’s hand, again anchoring herself. 

“Now I don’t know where you got that attitude-“  _ Attitude! _ She can’t believe it, Galilea stooped  _ that _ low. “-from but it needs to leave, your sister has failed us, immensely. But this is between us,” she gestures to Lilith. 

The outside view is… harsh. Mother and daughter going at each other. They sit there, trying to look anywhere but at the fighting pair. They all silently hope and pray that it won’t end in physical altercation. 

“You proved yourself worthy but to hear that it’s in another person is ridiculous. You have no idea how bad I feel.” Galilea responds, hand clutching at her chest. 

So this has been about her? The whole time? 

Lilith looks at her stunned, too far hurt to talk. She decides it’s time. She’s done being defeated.

“Well imagine how  _ I _ feel. Consider that perhaps you raised a fighter rather than a child. That’s no way to raise a child. All that I wanted was  _ love _ ,” she merely whispers at the last word. She  _ will  _ bring that up. 

The silence that follows her word is deafening. 

Her heart is  _ racing _ , she’d never been one to bring up feelings, especially about her own mother, in any context. Fear is taking over. But yet this is the most liberation she’s felt. 

“We raised you to the best of our advantages.” Cecilia spoke up this time, taking over for her wife. Firm voice again, almost like she’s getting scolded. 

“Yeah, well you could’ve tried harder.” The group was shocked to hear Mary’s voice, they all turned to look at her. Lilith gives her an expression that only says  _ ‘Why? _ ’ and  _ ‘Be quiet!’ _ . Nevertheless she persisted with the conversation. 

“Listen I’m not here,” she sighs, “to give you instructions on how to parent, that was your,” Mary waves at the two older women, “call in the past, I will only say that you should’ve been bett- treated Lilith better than how you do now. You don’t know about the pain she’s been through, and you don’t know how amazing she is… You don’t know the amount of strength, the amount of loyalty she has. She’s shown worthiness, whether or not she has the Halo. It shouldn’t be a defining factor.” She’s furious, close to yelling at them, though she wouldn’t mind it.  _ Fuck them _ .

Lilith stares at Mary, bewildered.  _ What the fuck? _ Obviously she knew that Mary would be one to defend others but to defend Lilith? That’s a shock to her. They barely liked each other, scratch that, they hated each other but… she would defend her. And this is the most loving thing she’d experienced. The feeling is like no other. Maybe triumph, maybe confidence, or perhaps excitement. Whatever it was, it made her feel appreciated. 

Without another word, Lilith gets up from her seat, defying her mother's previously set rules. A big  _ fuck you _ to them. The rest of the team follow in tow as she motions for them to get up, telepathically advising them that she’s over this. They are at a loss of words. 

Ava follows last, running up to the four other women, “Wait wait… They hurt you?” She questions, voice genuine and sincere. 

“Yes.” was all that Lilith said. Panic is coursing through her mind. She’d never been one to defy her parents. This is the first time this happened, she wouldn’t expect any form of punishment because hello, she’s an adult. But that action was  _ thrilling _ . Something in her snapped and became newer somehow. 

They mindlessly follow her to the room, knowing that it’s better for her to talk it out rather than to keep it all. 

Once in the room, the four women wait by the doorway and see Lilith sit down on her bed. She gestures them over. Mary and Beatrice sit on either side of her, Ava and Camila in front of her. Mary rubs her back, hoping to lessen the tension between her shoulder blades. Beatrice takes a hand and rubs at her knuckles. 

Lilith stares at the floor before saying, “That was the first time I talked back to them.” A slight smile appears on her face. They remain silent until she lifts her head, glancing at her friends, smile widening. 

“Ava.” At the mention of her name, she hums. 

“I meant what I said, about your worthiness.” She was being completely genuine. 

“Are we on the same side now?” Ava grins, waiting for her answer. 

“Yes, of course.” Ava gives her a hug, she reciprocates it, enjoying the contact. Lilith pulls away, silently thanking the Halo-bearer. 

“What you did was right, she shouldn’t keep treating you like that. Props to you for finding the courage, in all seriousness,” Ava compliments Lilith on that. It was courage and the fact that she was done with it all. 

“Thankfully, I have people to encourage me to stand up for myself.” Lilith prods at Mary, who has her full attention. 

“Hey but it wasn’t just me… We’re all here, learning from each other.” Mary exclaims. She gets nods from everyone, she takes it as an acceptance. 

Lilith thinks:  _ How did she get blessed with such an amazing team? _ After her trip to hell (too soon?), she’s come to realize that she has changed, physically as well as mentally. She doesn’t know how but the tiniest bit thankful for that, because she knows she’ll strive for better things. She appreciates this silent moment, surrounded by supporting people. In one way or another, they all had difficult pasts with their parents. She got stuck with a group of friends with parental issues,  _ nice _ . 

Camila speaks up, “Whenever you want to talk, know that I’m here for you. I’m also sure the rest of us would be willing to as well.” She cheekily smiles, looking around the room. 

“Yes we’re here for you,” Beatrice lets go of her hand, and rubs her shoulder. 

“Same here. It’ll be like bonding time!” Ava agrees with Camila. Lilith rolls her eyes but Ava knows that it’s all in a good heart. She’ll take it. 

“I… Just thank you I suppose? You don’t have to do this for me…” Here she went, belittling herself. 

“No, we’re here to help, don’t doubt yourself.” Mary affirms. 

“It’s all in the team work.” Beatrice comments next to the taller woman. “Right?” 

That gets a yes from everyone. She was overwhelmed in a good way, overcome with love. 

“Thank you all, again. I mean it.” That signals Camila, Ava, and Beatrice to leave the pair alone. Clearly they wanted it. They could figure out a plan for the future expedition at a later time, right now is time for them. 

They see them leave the room, sharing little commentary between the three. Once the door closes, the pair turn to face each other. 

“I am happy you did the right thing.” Mary says. 

“I am too. And thanks for defending me.” Lilith states. 

“Don’t thank me for that.” She shrugs it off, that would’ve been the least she could do. 

With a sigh, she laid her back down on the bed, playing with her hands, looking up at the ceiling. Had this gone the way she envisioned, she would’ve been crying right now, but happily, it turned out better. She knows pain and the lack of security. All too well. So this newfound attention is filling for the lack of comfort. Lilith is enjoying it, appreciating the good. Life twists in crazy ways. 

She feels Mary lay beside her, getting her attention. Her stomach churns, feeling…  _ giddy _ _?_ Strange...

It was almost overwhelming, this presence of Mary next to her. They’d been friends, yet she turned on them because of family matters, they’d fought, and now are making their way to rekindle this relationship. She was always close to Mary, whether it was because of rivalry or friendship, the main point being that they were close. 

Mary pulled her into another hug, rubbing her back, stroking her hair, closing her eyes. She was glad that Lilith found the courage to stand up to her horrible parents. But it really made her think that she had very few instances with affection, only getting contact through their fights. She hugged her tighter, hearing her breath relax and her pulse return to a normal beat, letting her relax into her touch. 

Mary spoke up, voice muffled in Lilith’s shoulder, “You showed them who you really are and if they have any objections, they’re not worth your time.” She was being honest and Lilith understood that deep down. It was her defining feature in a way. They really weren’t worth her time anymore, she’ll say her goodbyes and never see them again, cutting them out of her life for good. 

“Again, I mean it, thanks.” Lilith expressed, feeling content. They stay there in silence, embraced in each other’s arms.

Later they’ll leave and figure out how to track down Adriel, but right now, they stay here. It can’t hurt to have some form of comfort and safety before they delve into their plans. The future isn’t going anywhere. And besides, staying here and hiding out was their best option at this point.

Whatever she’ll have to deal with in the future, she won’t face it alone. Not anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah uhhh lilshotgun rights!!!
> 
> TRANSLATIONS:  
> "Es como que no les importa lo que yo siento." = "It's like they don't care about how I feel."  
> "Creo que les va gustar mucho." = "I think you'll [the group] like this [meal] a lot."  
> "Es imposible creer que una organización como ellos no mas te dicen que ya no es parte de ellos." = "It's impossible to think that an organization like them just tell you that you're no longer part of them."  
> "Pues es que nos dijeron que hay personas nuevas controlando la organización, fuera de nuestro control. Obviamente, quiero que esa no fuera su decisión pero así se dejó." = "Well they told us that there are new people controlling the organization, it's outside of our control. Obviously, I did not want this to be their decision but that's how they left it." 
> 
> kudos and comments are highly appreciated thank you!!
> 
> follow me on twitter [@petshopbovs] if u want to scream at me abt lilshotgun.


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